Be strong, be wrong

Last night we were listening to AC/DC's "Thunderstruck", which we are prone to doing, mostly because it's the White Sox theme song and exciting pre-game intro music, but also because it pretty much kicks some major ass. Ask Mac, Jurko and Harry. About halfway in to our listen, we realized it might just be another wrong song!

You know wrong songs, right? Something in the lyrics is a mistake or just doesn't jibe with reality. Our favorite wrong song, of course, is wrong song numero uno "The What" by Notorious B.I.G. Biggie is laying down post-structuralist discourse on the nature of his, uh, manhood, and spits this timeless refrain: "Honies feel it deep in they placenta." Which is interesting, if you know much about anatomy. If Biggie were alive today, we'd politely explain to him that women don't really have placentas very often. Like only when they great with child. We would further ask him if he is really into pregnant honies. Not out of the question, but maybe a little strange. Honestly, it's a fetish we share. Biggie, we sincerely hope this wish of yours came true at some point during your brutally shortened life! We hope you tore that placenta up, chief.

We know if we did lay any of this honkie gibberish oh him in real life Biggie would tell us to shut the fuck up and clean the Cristal off his pinkie rings and we would be all like yes sir, right away sir. He would then tell us to read John Updike's Couples because at one point Updike compares a woman's recently fucked vag-unit to a kitten lapping up milk which is so heavy image-wise it could crash through the earth from Brooklyn all the way to China or some shit any day now. We say fuck John Updike! (Sasha! We know you are the hard rhymer and can bring all kind of heavy manners up in this. Please refrain from mentioning our existence at the next New Yorker office potluck. BTW, we hear Roger Angell makes a fab trail mix. Give him a headrub from us and tell him we're waiting anxiously for the new baseball tome.)

So you can't get actually struck by thunder. But you can be thunderstruck by relevation. So, is the rest of world wrong? Just AC/DC? Or only us? Is this truly a wrong song? Help us decide. Not being sure is killing us. Oh, and if you have wrong songs of your own, please send them to us with sample lyrics and we will post the best of them here. C'mon, all you rock critics crawling around like pubic lice. We see you out there!




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