Friday, March 23, 2007

Watch Maximilien Robespierre Throw Some D's

Those of you out there Google-ing for:

"mouth cupcake chasing Wicker Park"
"incapacitants t-shirts"
"ugly ozzie guillen children photos"
"merry go round called denial"
"attention deficit disorder adult romance"
"alexander haig you have the army"

in the last 48 hours or so, welcome to the blog! All this and more in the archives. I would blog more, but I'm devoting all avail free time far and away chasing mouth cupcake action in Wicker Park.

I'm not going to lie, I've done some sick, donkey-style shit in my time. Truly. But the concept of "mouth cupcake action" is far too advanced for my feeble, aging brain. However, "attention deficit disorder adult romance" is the STORY OF MY LIFE IN A SEEMINGLY INNOCENT WEB SEARCH! You have defined me as no other human ever has, random Googler! That might be the new name of this blog very soon. Don't front on the 1996 Blackburn College English Dept. Student of the Year, bloods! I'm makin' a comeback like Ken Caminiti!


Speaking of, um, attention...the class of 2007,2008,2009 and 2010 currently attending Roberto Clemente High School at Western and Division are truly *so* not down with my fashion grind. I get cat-called 50 spirit-crushing times a day because of my new summer 2007 (AKA The Summer of Forgiveness) gay hustler look, which includes a blinding white pair of cowboy boots and some Crackin' Ron Wood accessories. Bitch, I've got more accessories than Lee Harvey Oswald. That makes no sense. I'm a sucker for punishment. Summer of Forgiveness! Kathy Horyn, I'm coming!

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

She used my name to talk in another way that I wanted to know

Two months! I know you're hanging on every word, chuckles. Thanks for sticking around.

Big news: probably no Yahoo Fantasy Baseball league participation this summer. Can it be true? Yes. I keep bitching about not having a functioning computer of my own to love and cherish, but then I keep realizing that I don't give a rat's hairy raisin sac if I'm on the internet for more than 15 minutes a day or not, since I feel that American KULTUR, in a nutshell, is growing ever more incredibly coarse, vulgar, and just generally gross. It's just ME and Walt Whitman and Herman Melville and Ralph Waldo Emerson and Theodore Parker and YOU and noone you know from here on in, folks. And by the way, did I mention I loved the new Rocky movie?

So what did I do this week? Let's see. Went on a rad date, watched the Ken Burns doc on Huey Long, worked on the WORK blog, started reading a book about Ben Franklin, enjoyed the sunlight and March in Chicago heatwave (not too fucking dazzling but we'll take it) by taking long walks along our mighty yet polluted great lake, went on another rad date, and another rad date (!!) and basically hung in there with my fly homies Dan Higgs and William Wordsworth. If I didn't like the first JESU record so much, I don't think I'd be listening to anything made after 1950. I think Hopper can tell you that isn't an idol threat (or a minor one).

21st century take a hike!

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