Thursday, January 12, 2006

We must blend into the choir, sing as static with the whole

So, we know we made a promise here a few weeks back regarding poetry. Specifically, we vowed that if we got 300 pagehits on the ol' Statcounter that we would post a poem about taking the CTA to the Corpo-wack job in the morning. Look out for that in a few days, for on Tuesday we got 313 hits. 313. Who are all you fuckers? Gee whiz! Are we really that popular? Does anyone want to give us a million dollars and a pony? Can our writing expertise translate into material goods? Maybe we'll always be like NPR from now on, begging folks for money a few times a year. Except that we can't offer you a priceless oral sex sesh where you give head to Nina Totenberg while she reads you Supreme Court transcripts. Total Google search of the day: oral sex Nina Totenberg Ozzie Guillen David Souter. Oh, the horror. Kinda better than Cokie Roberts Brian Williams Mike's Apartment donkey punch. Maybe not.

We are very glad that we did not watch Country Boys last night. And not just because it reminds us of where we grew up and/or various familial relations. We do not need that shit to remind us how to represent Southern Illinois style. Keep your cheese-ass coal train/school bus metaphors to yourself, dun. We lived them snaps.

Right now we are embarrassed to admit that we are reading a mad-bonkers piece of pop trash. No, not Jackie Collins' Rock Star or something with a little validity. In fact, we are totally reading Executive Orders by Tom Clancy, the one where Jack Ryan becomes President and the entire government is killed when a Japanese pilot crashes into the Capitol building during the State of the Union Address. There is all this formal/governmental/Presidential procedure shit that we are totally interested in and this novel feeds that part of us, the part that longs to be a secret service agent or special counsel to the White House, or Leo McGarry, or anything that gets us close to hot executive branch action. Google search #2: Hot executive branch action. Oh, John Jay, bounce with us. Check that. We want Senator Patrick Leahy to be our power forward. He offers the most delicious smackdowns!




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5 comments:

vanessa said...

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Web Results 1 - 10 of about 2,320,000 for hot executive branch action. (0.38 seconds)

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Federal Judicial Pay: An Update on the Urgent Need for Action
This linkage causes Federal judges and top officials of the Executive Branch to suffer the consequences of Congress' reluctance to award itself a pay ...
www.fedbar.org/wp-judpay03.html - 16k - Cached - Similar pages

ARI's Policy and Public Affairs - Exective Branch
The Executive Branch includes the White House and a variety of Departments and ... This action was taken pursuant to section 203 of the Trade Act of 1974. ...
www.ari.org/ga/executive-branch/ - 64k - Jan 11, 2006 - Cached - Similar pages

US Government Documents - Executive Branch Resources
Statements of Administration Policy (1997-present): Official executive branch policy on legislation scheduled for House or Senate floor action. ...
www.columbia.edu/cu/lweb/indiv/usgd/executive.html - 101k - Jan 11, 2006 - Cached - Similar pages

URGING THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH TO TAKE ACTION REGARDING THE ...
188, urging the executive branch to take action regarding the acquisition by Iran of C-802 cruise missiles, calls upon the Clinton Administration to take ...
www.globalsecurity.org/intell/ library/congress/1997_rpt/h105_304.htm - 30k - Cached - Similar pages

URGING EXECUTIVE BRANCH TO TAKE ACTION REGARDING ACQUISITION BY ...
URGING EXECUTIVE BRANCH TO TAKE ACTION REGARDING ACQUISITION BY IRAN OF C-802 CRUISE MISSILES (House of Representatives - November 06, 1997) ...
www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/ library/congress/1997_cr/971106-iran.htm - 19k - Cached - Similar pages
[ More results from www.globalsecurity.org ]

TMI said...

NPR Slash Fanfic is the new Songs About Illinois

Anonymous said...

three hundred thirteen
hits make jrs start to write
poetry to make us swell

Tequila Red said...

That pony better be for me.

lost teeth said...

we are the fuckers that read you! and yes, you really are that popular.