Friday, March 23, 2007

Watch Maximilien Robespierre Throw Some D's

Those of you out there Google-ing for:

"mouth cupcake chasing Wicker Park"
"incapacitants t-shirts"
"ugly ozzie guillen children photos"
"merry go round called denial"
"attention deficit disorder adult romance"
"alexander haig you have the army"

in the last 48 hours or so, welcome to the blog! All this and more in the archives. I would blog more, but I'm devoting all avail free time far and away chasing mouth cupcake action in Wicker Park.

I'm not going to lie, I've done some sick, donkey-style shit in my time. Truly. But the concept of "mouth cupcake action" is far too advanced for my feeble, aging brain. However, "attention deficit disorder adult romance" is the STORY OF MY LIFE IN A SEEMINGLY INNOCENT WEB SEARCH! You have defined me as no other human ever has, random Googler! That might be the new name of this blog very soon. Don't front on the 1996 Blackburn College English Dept. Student of the Year, bloods! I'm makin' a comeback like Ken Caminiti!


Speaking of, um, attention...the class of 2007,2008,2009 and 2010 currently attending Roberto Clemente High School at Western and Division are truly *so* not down with my fashion grind. I get cat-called 50 spirit-crushing times a day because of my new summer 2007 (AKA The Summer of Forgiveness) gay hustler look, which includes a blinding white pair of cowboy boots and some Crackin' Ron Wood accessories. Bitch, I've got more accessories than Lee Harvey Oswald. That makes no sense. I'm a sucker for punishment. Summer of Forgiveness! Kathy Horyn, I'm coming!

(<$BlogItemCommentCount$>) comments


lost teeth said...

oh man, i adore you. keep it up or i won't anymore.

dokuchan said...

you are back - I am so glad!
please keep posting and big ups to Blackburn 96 EDSOTY!

Josh said...

When you gonna fill us in on those rad dates homie? And since you're not playing fantasy baseball this year will you give me some scouting advice like RILL QUICK? draft is tomorrow!!!!

i'm SO getting Dice-K.

give us a call! we miss you!

Josh said...

also: by "ron wood accessories" i hope you don't mean this sweater.

vanessa said...

what the sick is "mouth cupcake action" ?

Anonymous said...

JR, your blog reads like youre on speed.


Anonymous said...

update yr blog.
or come over and lets make alan alda t-shirts.

Knut das eisbar baby

JFW said...

JR, seriously-- don't make me stalk you down at work. I just need to know if you're going to see Adult on the 4th. xoxo.

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