Post Coitum Omne Animal Tristis Est

Halloween, costumes, trickery...heck, even slutty Rainbow-Brites aren't that interesting anymore. Actually, the slutty Rainbow-Brites can be kind of interesting, at least in the lizard part of the brain with a shine for misanthropic sexual terpschiore. But the rest of Halloween isn't really. I'm probably a dry sourpuss, yes. I've never been "into" costumes or role-playing or any of that shit, though, participation isn't unprecedented. I did Agent Cooper at Crystal Lake South once or twice, I could really channel him ("Diane, sexual feelings about cheerleader uniforms are not unknown among *cough* G-men"), but since then most of my costumes have been conceptual failures, except for Andy Warhol, and that white powder wigged flower only bloomed once (2000?). If you come to my house for Ginger Ale and Fruity Pebbles some morning I can show you the polaroid of me as the Pop Art Man Child himself posing on the Empty Bottle couch with the one and only Isaac Brock. I'm kind of a whole late 70's striped shirt and tie era there, didn't break character once the entire night, more Bowie than Glover. Rumsfeld After Dark (don't ask) and Gay Suburban Dad On The Down Low (Kids In The Hall channeled via Jim J. Bullock Too Close For Comfort) carried me through the last few years and now I am costumeless, and not missing it.

"Where is your costume" a friend barged into the bookstore and asked last night, when we were giving away free books to the kiddies (instead of candy) as is ancient Myopic tradition. My reply was, I am proud to say, gunshot quick: " I'm sorry. I'm still getting over this little virus called 'self-respect'." I was immediately, mercilessly and quite correctly booed by several 'Ween attired people, including three or four co-workers, a mom and her two small children, one of which was dressed as, I think, a telemarketer. Headset and clipboard? What else could it be? PA? Old Navy management? Good to see kids aim high these days. Oops, did I just pull a Kerry?




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